Rap Star

So the other day I'm searching through some old scripts on my computer and I spot a file called "rap." Immediately I flashed back to the nineties and remembered my secret dream. Well besides the one where I have a three-way with 1978's Erin Grey and 1980's Phoebe Cates.

I'm talking about the dream where, just like so many Jewish white guys before me, I wanted to be a rap star.

So here is the unedited rap I wrote sometime last decade. My favorite line has to be the "Like a fresh kid, Wearing a bib." Pure gold.

If anyone has a connection to Eminem, maybe shoot him this link. I'm still available.

Rap
Lyrics by Noah Ruderman

Don’t have it all
Never needed it
Cause I can always quit
If I want
Maybe flaunt
Jaunt
Haunt
My mind
Behind
My heart
Below
Never slow, dough
Keeps rollin
Never holdin
Me down
Never round
Or wide
I’ll never hide
The way
The rule
Never caught being a fool
Because that’s the easy way
To die
Or cry
Never lie, cause my
high ain’t warranted
Like a fresh kid
Wearing a bib
On a chair
I stare, bare
In my lair
Don’t need that mess
I confess
Don’t clean up my mess
Cause when I’m done
Having fun, I’m gonna run
I'm gonna scream
Mean
Shouts of rage
Rip a page
Don’t need no wage
Or any boss
Never at a loss, or floss
So maybe I’ll crash
Or won’t last,
Maybe going too fast
Forgetting the past, cause it has
To repeat itself
Live a life of wealth
And choice
My voice is hoarse, never get a divorce
Cause I’ll stick, never stray
Never run away
And I’ll say
Hey, hey, hey