Baby Steps

I was at a Kentucky Derby party Saturday with my friends two-year-old daughter. One of my other friends saw me playing with her.

"Wow, I'm surprised you are so good with kids. I think you're going to be a great father."

"Thanks, but I think I need to go on a date first."

Techno-laziness

Technology can be a great thing but it can also breed laziness.

For example, consider this scene a couple weekends ago when I was walking back to a mall parking lot with my friends, both on opposite sides of me.

"Do you remember where I parked?"

"No, but I took a picture on my phone. Do you want to see it?"

"Yeah, but... you're all the way over there. Can you email it to my phone?"

Love at first shit

As many of you know, it sometimes seems impossible to meet that special someone, especially living here in Los Angeles. (Unless your special someone likes to wear jewelry on his jeans.)

So it's always nice to hear a sweet and romantic first meeting story between two people.

One of my coworkers was walking on the sidewalk to a club in Hollywood one night when, all of a sudden, he got drenched in what can only be described as human feces.

Immediately an attractive young female runs down the stairs of her apartment complex to apologize. Apparently her apartment had overflowed with sewage from the bathroom after her roommate made an extremely poor decision to flush her tampons down the toilet.

Obviously she felt terrible and in order to make it up to my friend, she gave him her number and offered to buy him a drink.

After he showered a few times of course.